I’ve been working with patients in health care and clients in corporate wellness settings for 15 years around the issue of weight loss. I’ve written and delivered 5 weight management programs.
In the beginning I was teaching people about diet and exercise. About how the body works with calories in and calories out. You have to eat less, burn more. It worked for a handful of people, but many would fail at their diet and exercise goals and either not come back, or come back bearing all the shame and disappointment of not following through. (I hated that!)
Then I began to learn how to dig down deeper with people and align their desire to lose weight with their deeper desires. One key coaching question was, “How will your life be different when you are at your ideal weight?” Here are some of the most popular answers:
I will feel better, more comfortable.
I’ll have more energy.
I’ll be proud that I finally won this battle. I will be more confident and feel like I can take on other battles.
I’ll be at peace.
I’ll be triumphant.
I’ll feel more accepted and connected. People will notice me. I will find more friends or a significant other.
I’ll be more fulfilled, joyful, happy.
I’ll win the respect of others. People will approve of me.
I’ll earn LOVE.
I heard what they were saying. I felt and shared their pain. It went beyond the numbers on a scale. Although the words differed from person to person, it was the same for everyone. In fact, it was regardless of weight. These were the same desires of everyone I coached. As humans, we crave more positive emotions. We are looking for confidence, fulfillment, purpose, pride, happiness, safety, connection, love. We want less worry, overwhelm, anxiety, sadness, frustration, irritability, anger, fatigue. We want changes in our LIFE!
Eventually, I began to learn more about how our mind and emotions effect our health. The fields of neuroscience and positive psychology have unraveled some of the biggest frustrations around weight loss. It turns out that our mind and our heart play a very big role.
We’ve been focusing on the wrong things!! In order to make progress we can’t start by jumping into big changes with diet and exercise. So this is why I have gone out on my own to create a program that works.
I can teach you how to eat healthy and exercise, it might change your body, but that won’t change your life!
Here’s how to change your life:
Cohesion- Creating cohesion between the mind, heart and body. Understanding how our minds are designed to protect us and facilitate survival and often that means with instant gratification. Creating a bridge between the conscious mind and the sub conscious mind to achieve long term rewards. Connecting to the wisdom of our hearts. Our hearts are genuine and crave to be heard, but we often override that “touchy feely” organ because we can’t afford to baby it in today’s world. And finally understanding how the body is effected by both the heart and the mind. That many health issues arise from in-cohesiveness.
Compassion- Learning that forgiveness, not guilt increases accountability and that self-compassion is very different from self-indulgence. Realizing that self-care isn’t selfish. Accepting with compassion that over committing ourselves is in response to our need to feel valued, but often occurs at our body’s expense. Spending more time in positive emotions and learning how to purposely cultivate them, because it won’t happen otherwise.
Composition- Leaning that the difference between weight loss and changing body composition. Understanding that skinny= vulnerable and fit= strong. Reaching the point that eating healthy food and exercise are an expression of self love, not torture.
“Our perspective is what holds the key to whether the solution is ordinary or extraordinary.”- Dewitt Jones
Are you ready to find some extraordinary solutions that will not only change your body, but also change your life, and the lives of those around you?